What've we got here?
So, from worst to best:
Taylor Swift's Wonderstruck - I don't do perfume, but Birchbox does on a monthly basis. I took the tiniest whiff I could manage: It smells a little old-ladyish.
Comodynes Self-Tanning Intensive - I don't tan, either. PALE 4-EVA! But for the sake of research, I wiped a leg (I also wear pants in the dead of summer and can get away with tanning one leg). First, it said the tan would appear in 3 hours. Pfffft. Hardly. I applied at 7 pm, it was barely noticeable at 10 pm. It WAS noticeable, however, at 7 am. Second, The wipe is not an effective means to distribute a tanning substance onto the legs. Good morning, streaks. I took my time at it, meticulously working up and down my leg, but I still ended up with spots that were darker and spots that were lighter (legs had been freshly washed/exfoliated/moisturized)
in all its streaky glory
LUNA Bar - Standard energy bar fare. I had the chocolate & peppermint. It was good enough. I am now just as likely to pick up a LUNA as a I would another energy bar (which is to say: unlikely, unless desperate for food and suffering minimal options, this among them, upon which my final purchase choice will be based on a balance of price per quantity and flavor options).
Stila One Step Bronze - For one, this was not a sample size. It was FULL SIZE. I wish I could be happier about that, but...it was difficult to tell if I looked any bronzer with this stuff on (which is saying a lot about the product since I am pale). But even then, bronzing is (in case you didn't get it with the tanning wipes) not a goal/priority of mine. However, my skin did seem brighter. But, I was also oily by early afternoon. Not good for combo/oily skin types.
theBalm Stainiac (in Beauty Queen) - LOVED IT. Bought a full tube straight through Birchbox. This stain gave me everything I look for in a lip product: non-drying, staying power, light/sheer coverage. Did it stick around as long as other stains I've had in my life? Not quite. Did it make it through the day if I didn't eat foods that were super-saucy? YES. And it did that without completely drying out my lips like the other stains have. That is pretty much the most important thing right there: stays without drying. The bonus is that the color is sheer, so it looks relatively natural (to anyone who doesn't know my lips are naturally as pale as my skin). I hereby dub Stainiac SlackerChic. It totes allows me to wear makeup without it being obvious or high maintenance.
The lipstain purchase makes this an automatic 5-Star box, but I'm feeling pretty 2-3 stars about the rest of it. My rating system needs tweaked...
That John Varvatos cologne came in Mr. Burly's Birchbox Man box.
(We have a lot of fun calling it a Man Box.)
There's a tiiiiny bit of overlap between the box's genderings. I WANT MORE GENDER OVERLAPS! MOAR I SAY! Quite frankly, I'm rather jealous of the (non shaving-cream & cologne) stuff he's received in his boxes. You might one day read a post about those. He keeps saying he'll write reviews. One day I'm just going to sit down and write Birchbox Man reviews in the voice of Mrs. Hurly Impersonating Mr. Burly Impersonating a Product Reviewer. YOU HEAR THAT MR. BURLY?!
Well now, that wraps up June Birchbox review. Yes, it is the latter half of July, which means my June review is rather late. So late, in fact, that I already have my July box. But that is another underwhelming review for another day.