July Birchbox Review: Not So Easy to Please

I'm very high-maintenance in my low-maintenance ways, it seems. I kinda want the world from my Birchbox. I should probably reset my expectations. Or stop my subscription and try another subscription. Or not have any subscriptions and resume my happy SlackerChic ways. It's taken forever (and the August Birchbox arrival- teaser at the end!) for me to get around to writing this "review." "Review" is in scare quotes b/c, well, if you asked me to list what I got off the top of my head, I would only remember 1 thing, and even then I haven't tried it.

Granted, I've been busy. So very busy. About the time this box showed up, we closed on a house, and we've been moving and/or settling. I couldn't even tell you where the box is right now. But the Birchbox page reminds me what I have.

See!

To which I am relieved that I'm not missing anything, apparently.

So without further ado, I present to you  

Birchbox, July: A Half-Assed, I-Have-Better-Things-To-Do, Review.

Alterna Bamboo UV+ Color Protection: I will revisit this product with a proper review once I resume putting color in my hair.

Birchbox Earbuds: The one thing I remembered but hadn't tried. OK, they're brightly colored earbuds. And, I'm a sucker for bright colors. And, I'm no audiophile. At a guess, I probably won't hear a difference between these buds and the factory-issued buds I have floating around. Hell, I don't know that I hear a difference between my factory-issued buds and the Skullcandy buds I paid real monies for (purchased so I would have in-ear buds with the foamy tips that I can buy in small so they FIT and STAY. not for maximum hearings of ALL THE SOUNDZ). If I get around to trying these and find there is a difference (price: $10, I doubt it), I will update accordingly.

Eyeko Skinny Liquid Eyeliner: I reeeeally wanted to be excited about this one. It's (A) a full-size product, not "sample" size and (B) eyeliner! Something I use! But alas, why eyeliner is ever made in anything other than waterproof is something I'll never understand. My eyelids shed product like nothing. So, while I have every intention of giving the eyeliner a fair trial, it has yet to happen. I have to be motivated to apply makeup ever, let alone on a day I'm not actually doing anything (lest I be caught out, looking like a sad raccoon, and no means to fix it). Me, put on makeup for no one? See also: the Slacker half of SlackerChic.

Harvey Prince Hello perfume: See also: my rants about perfume.

Supergoop! City Sunscreen Serum: OK, I also have every intention of trying this. It happened to show up a week or two after I finally (FINALLY!) found a sunscreen for my face that didn't turn it into a slick and didn't stink. Pardon my lack of enthusiasm for trying a new (more expensive) substitute after I found exactly what I'd been looking for.

Tea Forte minteas: I guess this one is technically full-size, too. Meh, mints. The flavor is a little weird. I'm not a tea person, but the mint & sweetness were pronounced enough that the tea flavor didn't put me off. 

So, that's a lot of reviewing for not reviewing anything. Go Me!

Stars? ummm.... 3 of 5? Technically this basically fit all the objective parameters they have from me (since I don't have a box to check in my profile that says NO FUCKING PERFUMES). But I can't really get excited about anything in this box, and part of that is the timing of it (a sunscreen in the June box had a better chance), but...I can't let all the bad be blamed on timing, either. I wouldn't have been impressed with Teamints no matter what day, or phase in my life, it was.

...August teaser: Another perfume!